Overall, and this is easy for me to say, I am not nervous to have a baby. When it comes to the responsibility, tiredness, learning, and pressure, not one part of it makes me nervous.
Elle and I have been together over 8 years, with 5 years of that living together. We are engaged and completely committed to one another. This amazing life that is growing inside Elle is the next incredible chapter of our lives together.
I understand that it is going to be tough. We are going to learn a lot about ourselves and each other. At times we will be in over our heads, tired and grumpy and feeling that we’re not doing good enough – I guess this is just part of the journey.
So, what is the one thing that makes me nervous? Elle. Elle is an incredibly strong and driven individual and possesses one of the strongest and most motivated mindsets that I have encountered. When Elle puts her mind to something she achieves that task. Also, as a nurse with a great degree, she is very intelligent. So, the nerves that I am feeling do not have anything to do with her abilities.
It goes without saying, giving birth is a dangerous thing to do. Yes, it is a lot safer than it used to be and I have the utmost confidence in the midwifes of our health board. However, this does not remove all of the risks.
I know that Elle is going to be fine as were both taking it very seriously and learning all that we can. Also, Elle knows that for maximum safety she needs to listen to her midwife.
Pain – that is what makes me nervous. Knowing that Elle is in pain, and that there is only a limited amount of things that I can do to help, is what makes me nervous.
However, I am preparing as best as I can. I have been reading The Expectant Dad’s Handbook, written by Dean Beaumont. This book takes you though pregnancy, labour, and parenting during the early days. The section on labour as been very helpful and really has provided me with a lot of information on how I can be as helpful as possible.
Believe it or not, as Dad’s we ARE NOT helpless during labour. There are plenty of things that we can do to help. These may not ‘directly’ take away pain from our loved ones, but our efforts can certainly help.
Even simple things such as keeping our partners calm will reduce the chances of her body releasing adrenaline, thus reducing the adrenalines effect on labour times and pain.
Conclusion – Elle being in pain is my main worry, and the thing that I am most nervous about.